Flash Before His Eyes
by pandaheart
Summary: Severus receives some exciting news from his wife, but does he feel worthy? I am quite bad at summaries, but please, do go on and read. Thank you. Complete! First fic in years
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did... Life would be so much easier.

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He walked into his quarters once the day had come to an end, just like he had every other day. She was there, curled up in the couch reading a book. He never thought she looked more beautiful. It wasn't like she was a perfect ten beauty queen, but she looked like it to him.

She was in her sweats, with her hair messily tied in a loose ponytail. The glow from the fireplace illuminated her. He stood there for a few moments admiring her, wondering how it was that he ended up with someone like her.

He did not consider himself to be a good man deserving of such a kind hearted, beautiful, smart woman. She was a goddess.

He did not deserve her.

However, as fate would have it, she was interested in him. She had been for years. They worked together for a few years, her as his apprentice, after she had graduated, during which time they became friends. A year into their friendship, their mutual attraction became obvious. Of course, he was infatuated with her even before she had graduated, but knew it was wrong. He repressed those feelings, and they came at him in full blast once they had begun their friendship.

It wasn't until the annual Christmas party that they had both admitted to their feelings for one another. They had become exclusive soon after that and they were inseparable.

Not even a year had passed that he had felt it right, and asked her to marry him. He had thought it over in his head many times and had prepared himself for the worst. He could not take rejection, but he knew he'd regret it every single day of his remaining life if he did not at least ask. To his surprise, she had said yes. They wed during the spring.

It was now three years after they married. She had finished her apprenticeship and had taken some extra classes to further her studies. He had been very supportive of her and was proud to be able to call himself her husband.

He kept standing in the doorway watching her read, when she suddenly looked up.

"Darling, I didn't hear you come in." She stood up to greet her husband with a kiss.

He held her for a moment and said, "I did not wish to disturb you while reading and was merely admiring the sight of you."

She pulled away from her and went back to her seat by the fireplace. He followed her into the room and sat in the armchair beside her.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"It was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. I went to the apothecary earlier to pick up some of the ingredients we had been low on. I also picked up some stuff for dinner," she told him while walking over to the kitchen, "which should be ready in a couple of minutes."

She walked back into the room with him and sat back down. "How was your day, dear?"

"Same as always," he drawled, "I can not wait for summer when these dunderheads are out of the castle. I had one of them explode another cauldron today. Reminds me very much of Longbottom. I would not be surprised if they were related." He got up to pick out a book from the bookshelf.

She laughed. He always loved to hear her laugh. It was a magnificent sound. It was angelic. They heard the ding coming from the kitchen and she got up to fix their dinner onto the plates. He walked into the little dining room they had and set the table. He did not mind doing such things. He loved helping her out with the little things that had to be done.

She walked in with a bowl of green salad, which she placed on the table. She went back and came out with two plates of spaghetti and garlic bread.

He moved to get some wine from the cupboard and proceeded to pour two glasses when she spoke, "None for me dear. I have news."

He raised an eyebrow and looked over at her. He could see the joy in her face and the happiness in her warm eyes. He set the bottle down and went over to her.

"Come this October, you will be a father."

She was beaming, and he was incredulous. There had been talk of children, but hadn't really come up with any plans for one in the near future. They had both decided that they would rather focus on their careers first. However, they had not exactly been actively trying to prevent a pregnancy. That being said, it did not come as such a big shock to either one of them.

"Are you sure?" He asked? His heart was pounding; he hoped it was not the first of April and that she was playing a trick on him, though, deep down, he knew she would never do anything like that.

"Yes!" she beamed. "I found out this morning. I hadn't been feeling well, but suspected something else, so I went to the infirmary where Poppy confirmed it."

He rushed to her side, stood her up and pulled her into the biggest hug she'd ever had.

She was laughing with joy while in his arms, and he held her until she was closely blue in the face from lack of being able to breathe. He gently kissed her on the lips and slowly let her out of his arms.

She decided early on that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. He let her go, it was early and he wanted to entertain a cup of brandy before joining her. The only source of light in the room was the fire roaring in the fireplace. He sat down, cup in hand, and stared at the dancing flames. Though he was still ecstatic at the news his wife had given him, he was now consumed with thoughts of his childhood, and his father.

Severus Snape did not have a very happy, or normal childhood by any means. His father was a muggle, and his mother was a broken shell of a witch. Being a pureblood who married a muggle, she was cut off from her family. She was left with nothing. Had Severus ever seen the Prince family tapestry, much like the Black family had, he was certain that Eileen Prince would have been burned out, much like Andromeda Black had.

As a child, Severus had been abused countless times. He learned at an early age to mentally withdraw from his body when his father beat him. It was because of this that he had been able to be a Death Eater and endure what came with that title. There had been many times when his father would use objects against both his son and his wife. Severus' hand traveled to his shoulder where he lightly touched the scar that had been there since his childhood when his father had decided to go at him with a kitchen knife. He had acquired that when he was only five years old—the first time he had used magic in front of his father.

His father despised the fact that Eileen had hidden her ancestry from him and neglected to inform him that she was a witch. He was not a patient man to begin with, and he had lost it when he caught his wife performing a simple cleaning spell. Severus had only been three.

When his father found out Severus also possessed his mother's magic, he freaked. From that day forward, his abuse became more violent. Not only towards Severus, but towards Eileen too; he would beat her and verbally abuse her for tainting his son with magic.

No, Severus Snape had not had a very happy childhood. He had the scars to prove it. His only wish was that he would not be like his father to the child that Hermione was nourishing within her. He was frightened though. He was not a patient man himself, and he only hoped that things would be different. Deep down, he knew he would never hurt his child, or his wife. He had his share of violence through his life. He did not want anymore. Not only that, but he knew Hermione would never forgive him if he ever laid a hand on either of them. He loved her too much to lose her.

With this as his parting thought before finishing his brandy, he stood up and walked to the bedroom he shared with his wife. He undressed to his shorts and carefully lifted the covers and slipped in so as not to wake her. He snuggled up closer to her and whispered in her ear, "I love you." He was determined to make sure he was worthy of her and their unborn child. He quickly fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did... Life would be so much easier.

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The months since Hermione had told Severus that they would be parents had passed quickly. It was now October, Hermione's due month. It was quite chilly this time of year. Severus had always admired the beauty that came with autumn. The change of the leaves from a vibrant green to a more mellow golden-orange color. He was done with his classes for the day and after he settled a few affairs, he planned to go with Hermione to her appointment with Poppy.

Both parents to be were quite anxious, as all new parents are. They had their worries, which is why throughout Hermione's pregnancy they both made sure to take extra care. Severus did not brew in his private labs for the duration of the pregnancy out of fear that any fumes produced might reach and harm his unborn child. Hermione told him he was being silly, but deep down, she was proud that he had taken that precaution for them.

He walked to his private chambers where his wife would be waiting for him. He saw her in her usual chair with a book in hand and having a cup of tea. She was radiant. Obviously pregnancy agreed with her. Even still, Severus found her absolutely gorgeous.

"Hermione, love, ready to go see Poppy?" He asked.

She let the book down and smiled up at her husband. She attempted to stand up to greet him properly, but found it difficult to do so at her advanced stage of pregnancy. Sensing this, Severus walked over to her and helped her stand up. She beamed at him, "Of course! I felt our darling child kicking. He is ready to come out!" They had decided that they wanted to find out the sex of their child early on. Neither one of them wanted to wait, and this way, they could adequately prepare with names and decorations.

Severus helped Hermione grab a coat and then he led her through the castle to the infirmary. As the walked, Hermione stopped in pain. She was scared, and excited, as all new mothers are when they feel their first contractions. Of course, she was in pain too. Severus wasn't quite sure as to what was going on. He eyed her questioningly, until she explained to him, "Honey, I forgot to tell you. I've been experiencing some contractions today. They're not too close, about maybe half an hour or so apart."

He stood there shocked. It was really happening. He was going to be a father. He looked at her, with a frown on his face, "We're not due for at least another week."

"I know! I guess Matthew couldn't wait any longer to meet his mommy and daddy," she smiled. They had settled on the name Matthew, who was Hermione's father. Severus really did not care what the baby was named, as long as both he and Hermione were healthy.

When they got to the infirmary, Severus immediately informed Poppy of Hermione's contractions. Poppy did the routine diagnostic spells to make sure that both the baby and Hermione were healthy. Once it was confirmed that they were, she went on to examine Hermione and see how far she had progressed.

"Well, she's getting there," the smiling woman said. "It is likely that by this time tomorrow, you will be parents!"

Severus could not believe what he had just heard. It seemed so soon. Panic struck him. What if he wasn't good enough? What if he did end up being just like his own father? Hermione sensed that something was wrong with her husband; she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and a smile. At that point, Severus knew everything would be okay. Hermione had picked him for a reason—even if he couldn't even begin to understand what that reason was. She chose him, and was now giving him a child.

Poppy finished up looking over Hermione and let the couple go. Before they left, she told both Hermione and Severus to make sure they rushed straight to her once the contractions were five to seven minutes apart. Severus seared this information into his brain, and made sure he had a stopwatch with which to time the contractions.

"Severus," Hermione began, "lets go for a walk around the grounds. I haven't been out all day and would love to go walk around and see the sunset."

He could never deny her anything. He held out his arm for her to grab on to and led the way out of the castle. The couple strolled for a while, taking in the view, breathing in the crisp October air. They walked to the lake when it was nearing sunset. The water sparkled like a million tiny diamonds. Hermione held on to Severus the whole time, talking about how happy she was and how beautiful everything looked, and how perfect their life was going to be. Once it was dark, and too cold to be out, they walked back to the castle. They had dinner in their rooms and then settled into sleep.

At some point in the early morning hours, Hermione's contractions were timing at six minutes apart. Once her pain subsided for a few moments, Hermione turned to her husband, "Severus, its time." He had just woken up and was not sure as to what Hermione was talking about. "Time for what?" He asked her. "We need to go see Poppy. We're going to be parents!" At this, Severus sprung up, "Are you sure?" He didn't need her response, his stopwatch was magically synched to her contractions and he could see that they were indeed six minutes apart. She nodded her head and started to get up and grab her coat. He grabbed it for her and put it around her shoulders. He sent a patronus to Poppy, informing her that they were on their way up, he then ushered Hermione to the hospital wing.

They made it to the hospital wing in time for another contraction. Poppy was already up and preparing for their arrival. She ushered Hermione into a room and lied her down on the bed. She waved her wand around her round belly to determine the position of the baby and to make sure she was ready. Poppy let the couple know that it would still be a little while before Hermione was ready to go, she then put a spell over the soon-to-be mother to minimize the pain of childbirth. She left the couple alone after she put a charm in the room that would alert her when Hermione was ready to begin pushing.

Severus looked over at his wife and could not have been happier. He saw the joy in her eyes, the love, the devotion. He also saw a hint of fright, but only a little. He could not be prouder of her. He sat by her and slowly began speaking, "Hermione, love, I want you to know that I love you very much. You make me so unbelievably happy, and now you're giving me a son. I promise that I will do the best and then some. You are my everything, my world, my love. I love you." He leaned over to kiss her as she was tearing up. He was not a man who often expressed his feelings verbally, so this was something quite different to Hermione.

"You are my everything as well." She answered, "I am so happy that we're having a baby, so soon. I know you will be a wonderful father. You have a lot of love to give. You will be perfect." She stroked his arm as she talked and gave encouraging squeezes.

Soon, Hermione's contractions were coming closer and closer together. The charm Poppy had placed on the room alerted her when it was time. She rushed in with all the essentials necessary to deliver a child. Severus never left Hermione's side. He was there encouraging her and keeping her calm, making sure that she was safe. He began to worry at the length of time it was taking, Poppy reassured him that everything was going well, and that it would only be a few more moments. Finally, Poppy told Hermione to give one last push, and then Severus heard his son cry. Poppy held him up and cleaned him and allowed Severus to cut the cord. She then swaddled the infant and handed him to Severus.

Hermione was in tears. Severus was in shock. He was actually holding a baby. A strong, healthy baby boy. He noticed their son had acquired many traits from his mother, something Severus was quite thankful for, but he did inherit his father's raven hair. Severus lowered him so that Hermione could hold their baby. "We did it," she sighed as she took hold of the tiny infant, tears of joy streaming down her face. Severus lowered himself to give his son a small kiss on the forehead, and then he turned to Hermione, "Thank you." He said. Hermione then slid over, allowing enough room for Severus to lie down on the bed next to her and little Matthew. It was perfect. Severus felt everything was right in the world, and that everything would be fine.

Its an interesting thought—many people think that when one is close to death their lives flash before their eyes. They see all they had accomplished; they see their laughs, their tears, their joy, and their sorrow. Unfortunately for Severus Snape, as he lay in a pool of his blood in the shrieking shack, what everyone had said about dying was wrong. Severus did not see his life flashing before his eyes; instead he saw what could have been. He saw the joys that could have been his, the love he could have shared, the life they could have lived. He found it quite ironic, that as he lay there dying, he envisioned life starting. Perhaps in some parallel universe another version of him could have what he had seen. He could have the family, the happiness, and the love, instead of having it ripped from him as he gasped to take his last breaths.

~End~


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